I aim to please and was probably going to dictate your grocery list anyway, so first the easy part. Things you should eat:
- Less meat, douchebag.
- Eggs poached in tomato sauce AKA "eggs in purgatory."
- Pastured eggs, if you're rich or live on a farm. They're like twice as nutritious, and have a taste.
- Chopped up eggplant and canned tomatoes w/ whole garlic cloves, red pepper flakes, salt, and olive oil (don't be stingy), roasted for an hour. Good on crackers or tossed with pasta.
- Salt & vinegar potato salad.
- Arugula and bread salad w/ mustard caper vinaigrette.
- Bread salad in general. Chris Tonelli's wife has the best recipe.
- Champagne mangoes, the superior mango.
- Persian cucumbers.
- Fermented foods, e.g., pickled vegetables and yogurt (not together). Not crappy American yogurt either.
- Chocolate chips and dried cranberries (together). Add almonds or whatever if you're a trail mix purist.
Now, for poet-food comparisons, the A edition.
Anne Carson is like stuffed grape leaves. Simple, classic, and yet, not really for kids, for whom leaves, like crusts, are best neatly disposed of.
It's really hard to find an appetizing image of grape leaves. They're better than they look.
August Kleinzahler is like sausage. Men like to brag about how much sausage they ate; male poets read Kleinzahler and are similarly self-impressed.
On the other hand, almost any image of sausage will do.
Adam Clay is something kind of "classy" and well-liked and not too heavy. Sushi maybe? Or like a canapé or cocktail snack, like a cheese puff or an asparagus spear you dip in herbed mayonnaise. Something like that.
[image removed at owner's request]
I just realized I'm doing this backwards. Mark asked me to compare foods to poets, not the other way around.
Probably not to be continued in any case. That made me feel kind of racist.