Thursday, November 5, 2009

Lauren Bans is my rival

My first exposure to the writer known as Lauren Bans was on This Recording, a culture blog I discovered when they sorta-reviewed my chapbook several years ago. They called the cover "cute as a button" and me "alluring" or some shit and now, natch, I love them. I think I would love them anyway, since they read and support indie lit and have good taste in music and hate on popular movies and post a lot of gratuitous pics of half-naked celebrities. They also have an undeniable bias toward writers with attractive headshots.

Lauren Bans wrote a review of 500 Days of Summer that I found to be dead on (despite not having bothered to see the movie). I shared it in my GOOG Reader and it partially inspired my post on pseudo-intellectual cliches. I can't remember what happened next; I think probably I followed her on Twitter and subsequently discovered that she also writes for the Double X blog.

Further readings have revealed that Lauren Bans' sense of humor and general writing style/tone (snarky yet essentially good-natured) are altogether too similar to mine for me to merely admire her. So, I have decided, she must be my rival. Take this response to the BoingBoing video on the reclamation of the word "douchebag." So many of my hallmarks are here: an admittance that a Venn diagram is in order coupled with a refusal to supply one; an overly finicky focus on semantics; an interest specifically in the semantics of the word "douchebag."

I mean, seriously, I could have written this. In fact someone sent me that video a day or two before I read the article and I remember having a similar reaction. Then, a couple of days after that, my ex sent me a link to the post and was like, Whoa: Venn diagrams and douchebags? And I was like, I KNOW. Then he said her Facebook pic looks like ScarJo.

ScarJo is my nemesis. Lauren Bans is my rival.

I think Heather Christle might also kind of be my rival. Usually when I read her poems, I think at least one line sounds like something I might have written, plus the same people seem to tend to like us. But she is more "famous" than me. She gets a whole week at HTML Giant. I don't think James Joyce and David Foster Wallace even got weeks. Hence! A mighty rivalry! It's problematic, though, because, aside from the fact that I think she's a good poet, she seems like a total sweetheart. The system is breaking down.

Maybe one day we can all have lunch or something.

13 comments:

  1. You know there's intellectual resonance when you find a review of a movie you haven't seen to be "dead on."

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  2. dude, elisa, you're totally gay. and that's cool. :)

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  3. I am?! Do you read "rival" as "bitter crush"? :)

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  4. in my experience. i remember thinking, way back when: who is this damn Amy King who's in all the journals that i'm trying to get into? haha.

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  5. Ha! What a love story! Reminds me of Katie Holmes telling some magazine she wanted to marry Tom Cruise when she was like, 5.

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  6. except tom cruise really IS gay. sigh.

    but anyway there was a good article in Bitch magazine called "Envy, a Love Story: Queering Female Jealousy" about how women's rivalries are often bitter crushes, as you call them. nothing to generalize based on, of course, but totally fun to think about.

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  7. Very interesting. I figured my post was (at least) a thinly veiled announcement that I wanted to be their friend.

    Is that article online?

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  8. yes, i know! i think you should be like the three musketeers. i don't really think you're gay.:) facetious is my middle name. no, that article's not online -- i have it in a book (BITCHfest, like a compendium of articles from BITCH over the years) -- if you really wanna read it i'll scan it for you.

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  9. Maybe if you go on a scanning rampage one day. Don't put yourself out!

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  11. this has taught me never to praise anyone's chapbook

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  12. and this has taught me never to write one.

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  13. :( i take it all back! y'all, please keep reviewing, and i will behave myself

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