Sunday, November 29, 2009

What I learned on my Thanksgiving vacation

Dan Brown is a real living author.

Dan Brown is all over the best-seller lists.

Dan Brown is an author you NEED to get to know and F-A-S-T.

Dan Brown is trying to create literature.

Dan Brown is the first to admit that his stories do not depict reality.

Dan Brown is a ridiculously nice guy.

Dan Brown is so easy to make fun of, there is no excuse for doing it poorly.

Dan Brown is a boyscout insofar as the Conspiracy goes.

Dan Brown is simply cashing in on what were formerly only labeled as "Conspiracy Theories."

Dan Brown is composed of at least 5 distinct authors.

Dan Brown is a lier.

Dan Brown is actually a cover for the global machinations of Goldman Sachs.

Dan Brown is going to be the ruin of us all.

Many people buy Dan Brown's books, and Dan Brown is very rich.

I mean, you have to keep in mind that Dan Brown is not an historian. Dan Brown is simply an agent for the craft trying to open the eye of the mind of the masses.

Everybody knows that despite getting most of his facts wrong, Dan Brown is American culture's preeminent religious thinker.

Dan Brown is just a writer, who makes stuff up. It’s not real.

Dan Brown is one of my favorite writers and I am also tempted to download the ebook.

Dan Brown is renowned for his stories that mix history with intrigue and, of course, codes.

'Dan Brown' is like my 5th favorite 'artist.'

Dan Brown is America.

Dan Brown is a brand now. And Dan Brown is no paranoid kook.

Dan Brown is not, as some of his more trenchant Catholic critics would have it, a dangerous fraud, a cynical corrupter of biblical truths.


Dan Brown is responsible for writing The Da Vinci Code.

Dan Brown is a great writer, I won't let the media tell me what to think, or read any negative comments.

Please remember that Dan Brown is a fiction writer!

The 'key' to reading Dan Brown is to allow your mind to go into overdrive and try to predict everything and then surprise yourself when you are no where near!

Anyway, Dan Brown is a massive fuckwit

Ahh, Dan Brown. Is there anyone better at the contemporary, hyper-educated thriller?

The other possibility is that Dan Brown is a cyborg, which can't be ruled out at this stage.

Apparently Dan Brown is just as ignorant as those tattoo yahoos.

It could very well be that Dan Brown is a willing participant in one of the biggest disinformation campaigns waged by the Illuminati in history.

Dan Brown is no Robert Ludlum.

We said above that the "author" property value of "The DaVinci Code" is "Dan Brown." It's OK to consider that property value to be of value type "text," but since Dan Brown is actually a person, there's more we can do.

My confession: I think Dan Brown is terrific -- just like millions of others.

Although Dan Brown is naive in his depiction of the sexual component of goddess worship, his books are well researched and thorough. Go with it … suspend disbelief and enjoy the ride.

Dan Brown is a savvy entrepreneur.

Dan Brown is doing his best.


  1. And Dan Brown is almost as busy as his tiny winged friends. You're on your way to some fine Flarf.

  2. Those damn tattoo yahoos. They'll get you every time.

  3. After reading this, I can't tell if you like Dan Brown or not.

  4. That's sort of beside the point, Chris. I mean, Dan Brown is America.

  5. Dan Brown was born and raised in my home town.

    Dan Brown is my father.

  6. reminds me of this list by Jason Rohrbacker, which i discovered through the wonderful McSweeney's iPhone app:

  7. FYI for the uninitiated (oh, innocent ones) all the above statements came from Google ...