Remember that "25 Random Things About Me" Facebook meme from like 2008? Well I don't, because I'mnotonFacebook. But here are <25 "random" things "about" me:
- People constantly make fun of the way I walk. I walk quickly, but I take short steps and don't lift my feet much off the ground. Picture a mechanical geisha.
- I have frequent anxiety dreams that "everybody hates me," guess-I'll-go-eat-worms-style. Seriously, people I haven't seen since high school will show up just to hate me.
- I've got a fang. Actually just one wicked crooked tooth, whereas all the others are straight. I tend to forget about it until I see pictures of myself, because I don't smile at myself in the mirror. Jesus, does anyone? (<--Stand By Me reference.)
- I'm terrible at skating, both roller- and ice-. I'm shaky on a bike too. I like to have my feet on the ground. (Hence the aforementioned shuffling.)
- I am, however, good at racket sports, especially racquetball and ping-pong.
- In college I wrote a poem that ended with the lines, "I'm always turning corners with you. / Why can't we take the hypotenuse?" Uh, what? In high school I wrote a poem that ended with the line "This time Jonah ate the whale." It was about a kid named Jonah who murdered his parents (true story). Uhhhh. Another poem I wrote in college had these lines, which I still think are good: "That wasn't a blackbird, / just a black bird. But I couldn't tell you no." Confess your terrible lines! Or your good ones.
- When I was in ninth grade I posted a bunch of poems to a user group in AOL. My email address was FreakGirl@aol.com. Confess your awesomely terrible former email addresses!
- When I was five or so I had both a security blanket, which I called my "night-night," and a security toy, a little monkey that was part fur and part plastic. The paws and mouth were plastic, and you could lodge his little thumb in his mouth. I called him Chunky. I couldn't sleep without my night-night and Chunky. I also had a traditional baby doll that I carried around by the head, so it kept falling off.