Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Coming to terms with people not liking you:

Sign of maturity, or lazy complacency and resistance to change?

8 comments:

  1. I think that depends on why it is they don't like you.

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  2. Because I'm awesome?

    OK, really though ... my suspicion is that there is no way to be vocal about your opinions without garnering some minimum amount of disapproval and creating some minimum amount of friction. Some people will dislike your opinions, others will simply dislike the outspokenness. You sacrifice a certain amount of diplomacy when you're opinionated. So the question is, should mature adults always aim to be diplomatic and avoid friction?

    I'm referring to people who don't know me well, BTW. Assessments based on public persona.

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  3. I think, screw diplomacy. And I say this as a fairly diplomatic person. People will still find ways to disapprove!

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  4. Darcie!!!

    That's always been my inclination as well. I have friends who have become more diplomatic as they get older. I don't seem to be going that way. Now and then I reassess.

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  5. In my experience it was expedient to make more of an effort to make people like me when I was younger. If I had have been myself when I was going to college I am not sure that I would have had many people to hang out with. Many people adopt a persona that fits with their environment so that you are not out on a limb. The question of whether you really like the people you are surrounded by or indeed whether they even truly like you is irrelevant in the blur of youthful hedonism.
    As you get older you get more time to confront yourself and to think about who you are and what kind of person you strive to be. The real you might not be attractive to many of those who liked the veneered version. As you get older though you don't need energy vampires around you so you learn to accept that some people don't like you and you take it as a given. I don't see this as a sign of maturity I see it as a natural evolution in response to the demands of a changing lifestyle.

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  6. Who cares? One of the best things about getting old I mean mature is that you realize it doesn't matter. And that truthfully most people aren't thinking about you at all but about themselves.

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  7. @aidan, interesting thought re natural evolution in response to the demands of a changing lifestyle. gonna chew on that one for a while

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