Friday, July 8, 2011

How they talk in Alabama

The hashtag #butyouuglythough is trending right now on Twitter. I don't know which is trashier, the double conjunction, the missing verb or the sentiment. Oh Twitter! Anyway, it reminds me of a funny story. When we were in Alabama, John and I drove out to see these crazy river lilies with Mathias and Julia (our soon-to-be near-neighbors), which trip turned into rather a debacle involving multiple wrong turns and a flat tire (no matter: enjoyment of adversity is a sign of genius). On the way back, we stopped at a gas station to buy rehydrating beverages and junk food, and after purchasing two packs of wacky-flavored Starburst and an enormous bottle of water, I went outside and stood in the heat swallowing big lugs of the latter. Meanwhile some local yokel pulls up to get some gas and I wander out of the way. We then proceed to have this bizarre interaction:
Him [slowly]: It took you a while to move outta the way.
Me [slowly]: Sorry.
Him: I thought I was gonna run you over.
Me [shrugging]: I feel OK.
Him [after a pause]: You sexy though.
Isn't that pretty much the best way to end an uncomfortable conversation? Like say you have to deliver some bad news, e.g., "The rent is going up by $50 a month" or "Dude, you left chunks all over the dishes," adding "You sexy though!" provides closure and softens the blow. Let's bring it into circulation.


  1. wow. i'm in a terrible mood and that "you sexy though" actually made me guffaw.


    why the move to denver?

  2. Glad I could help!

    Just ready for a change and thought it might as well be a big one? Are you still in NM?

  3. i am, for about another month, i guess. my boyfriend is beginning a phd at george mason in northern virginia and i'm most likely going with him, although there's pretty much nowhere i would LESS like to live than northern virginia. and i don't want to leave the desert. or the west. and sigh. but we'll see.

    i really like denver, i'm jealous. you need to eat at the french restaurant le central. it's affordable and REALLY good. get the mussels (you eat seafood, right?)

  4. Ha, I actually ate there when I was out finding an apartment! My aunt recommended it. I got the scallops! Next time, mussels.

    That's a drag. I was hoping we could hang out in the west.

  5. Reminiscent of Seinfeld's suggestion to replace "God bless you" after a sneeze with "You are sooo good-lookin'!"

  6. i know. it REALLY is a drag. if i don't move, there's is a good chance i will move to ABQ, so maybe i will see you in the west anyway.

  7. I'd definitely be passing through there from time to time.

  8. Har! You'd think that'd be part of the vernacular here in Texas, but obviously I have some work to do in that area now.

  9. The Lone Star State needs your help!

  10. Aimee I am so on this with you. It's a natural for the Austin state of mind, though it will have a different resonance when the slow-moving slow talkers are hipsters with rumpled haircuts.