Every song is like "Girl, u don't know how sexy u are" but actually EVERY WOMAN HAS A DOCTORATE IN HER OWN SEX-POWERS; YOU HAVE BEEN TRICKEDThis is what I've been saying! We've trod all over this question before (Do women think they're uglier than they are or do they just pretend to think they're ugly for social purposes?) but I wonder, are men really invested in this idea that beautiful women don't know they're beautiful? Isn't that directly contrary to the idea, often attributed to celebrities in "the sex issue" of various magazines, that confidence is sexy? Or are songs like this just telling women what they think we want to hear, i.e., maybe we're more beautiful than we think we are? (Contrary to the message of that recent Dove campaign, studies have shown most people's mental image of themselves is slightly hotter than the reality.)
— Kate Carraway (@KateCarraway) June 14, 2013
Worried this NSA stuff is distracting us from the really interesting "likable characters" debate.Someone recently – Alex Estes I think – was complaining that nobody had made a good NSA joke yet. This is my favorite so far, but I'll give a tip of the hat to the two below as well:
— colson whitehead (@colsonwhitehead) June 12, 2013
God hears all your prayers. Unfortunately, so does the NSA.
— Mark Peters (@wordlust) June 11, 2013
This invasion of privacy will not stand! Welp, time to post 100 photos of my kids and what candy bars they are most tempted by.Actually the candy bar tweet might beat out Colson's.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) June 6, 2013
@egabbert @KayEngels @daughteroffury "Zo, there is too much zex in zis book but you wish it to be longer...hmm' *temples fingers*This was from a conversation going on in response to this review in Bookforum of Katherine Angel's Unmastered. I haven't read the book, but it's obvious pretty early on that they got someone who doesn't like sex, feminism, or memoirs to review a feminist memoir about sex. I hadn't even noticed the irony of Cristina Nehring's complaining that she didn't like any of the content and to boot, it was too short (you know that old Yiddish joke about small portions, right?).
— seventydys (@seventydys) June 12, 2013
I know this has probably been answered somewhere before, but what are dogs?Have I included this guy in my roundups before? He's a genius.
— Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) June 6, 2013
"Do I contradict myself? / Uggh, i'm super sorry if I contradict myself. / I'm really trying to be consistent." –Whitman in a relationshipI'm always into jokified poem tweets; see the Lemon Hound tweet in Part 3. And Belz is the master of the "Uggh" tweet. See also:
— Aarοn Belz (@aaronbelz) June 6, 2013
Gotta stop reading the Bible so much. Kills like 3 hrs a day. Uggh i'm so righteous. :(And this blast from the past (April 2012?! We were alive then?)
— Aarοn Belz (@aaronbelz) May 23, 2013
if i never see the word momofuku again, i'm more than cool with that.OK it's my fault for reading beauty blogs and Allure and shit but I feel this way about "pop of color" and "beachy waves."
— Carrie Murphy (@carriemurph) June 5, 2013
If you like people who do 99.9999999% of the most horrible shit in the world, you’ll love men.I was laughing at this one for HOURS.
— Mark Peters (@wordlust) June 4, 2013
Today's high is 69, with a low of dry humping.I saw Sommer later in the day on May 31 and she was like, "Can you believe no one RT'ed or faved that?" But I see it's become something of a "sleeper hit."
— Sommer Browning (@VagTalk) May 31, 2013
Guy at Starbucks, "Are you dining alone?" Really? I just started laughing. Why yes, kind sir, I am dining alone...without you...forever...The equivalent of opening an email to a coworker four cubes down with "I hope this finds you well."
— Ada Limón (@adalimon) May 30, 2013
When someone sends me a work document for a final proofread and it's fuckin' chockablock with typos, I feel guilty about listing them all?STORY. OF. MY LIFE.
— lanyard (@lanyardtwerk) May 24, 2013
"It's pronounced jif." - inventor of GIF "No, it's not." - inventor of the letter GOnce-friend @rotatingskull actually blocked me over a GIF/JIF argument a couple weeks ago. People feel STRONGLY about this, guys. And I'm one of 'em!
— Brendan Hay (@B_Hay) May 22, 2013
OK, one more for now:
If the Shock Top logo were a human being, and it walked into a party, i'd be like "ugh"I'm not even sure what the Shock Top logo looks like, but I'm picturing a cross between the Kool-Aid pitcher and one of those suns wearing sunglasses.
— J. Bushnell (@jbushnell) May 16, 2013
Wow. I was pretty close:
Until next time. (And check out the first, second, and third editions.)